THAT WHICH I SHOULD HAVE DONE I DID NOT DO

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It’s romantic to think that we’re compelled by Fate to live the way we do, where we are, with whom we spend our time. Actually, every aspect of our circumstances has arisen from choices we have made and are currently making. Most choices are ultimately between life and death. We choose to struggle or to die. Sometimes they don’t seem so stark, but ultimately they are about that. One road leads to life, the other to the grave. One is yes, the other no.

It’s easier to pretend this is not the case, and that we are not wholly responsible for the twists and turns we make. We are compelled by forces greater than our will. At this level, we are victims.

That’s simply not the case. In a short time frame our lack of power seems great, but from the vantage point of a sufficient amount of time, it’s obvious that it’s all up to us.

Sometimes I feel like I’m all washed up. Whatever opportunities to succeed I once enjoyed I squandered. That comes from the flip side of this same dilemma. I’m taking too long a view, and not noticing the opportunities that surround me every day. I’m pissing on the present because it’s easier than really trying.

Harboring remorse is a form of laziness.

 

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